deep sorrow

nothing can make it better.nobody can .nobody answers my emails except my old manager who i put down who prayed with me today on the phone.
i want jeff to be back singing in his twang voice.i want to be onstage playing with him as he promised.
i dont like this world.i dont care even about the album now.
nothing matters except letting god do his work.
but the sadness wont leave me.
how can it?
my emails to him a day after he was gone said what the hell are we doing/ why dont we play?
yea.ok.
sure.
i have no sense of what the hell im doing or saying half the time and i dotn like being alive.
i dont like being in pain.
my dad is sad but theres nothing he can do but be here for me.
i have nobody i can talk to about it.
its just gonna hurt and hurt.
when good men die and assholes do not and continue to hurt others i have a real problem with this stuipid fucking world.