depressed again

it wont leave me alone.all i can think about is what happened a week ago.why do i have to keep thinkin all about it?
i have good things awaiting me.the new album is out and im happy about it.
i dont think everyone will like it but to those who do not like it..dont play it.for those who do..god bless you and i hope it gets through.
the other part is the loss.it stays all the time. a friend of mine called today and i told her i was still mourning and she said that was good..it was ok!
being a chriatian doesnt mean i wont be sad.
it give me no guaratees that i will always be happy.
i cannot replace my friend and icant deal with it still.its been a week.
wed have been playing by now.i know that.i also know that he wanted to play blues with me.
its all gone now.the thought of going in another roots band now is unthinkable unless its to jam or sing and leave.i cant take it man.
all those songs ..
all the poeple we havwe lost now who cannot beb here to play.i have lost so many muscian friends now i cant count them .anymore.
what i can take is that i have collected records all my life and i have a giant collection of great records.i play them now and than.it was nice to play a few sun records last week,and i enjoyed it.pulling out an elvis sun 45 and playing it brings it all back to me.why i started playing rockabilly to begin with.
those were the records that started me.
i do NOT regret having been a rock and roots player at all.
but i cant do it now.
all i have is my songs and my album to offer.nothing else.i cant give advice.i cant give anyone what i myself dont have now.
they say its within us to get over things that are bad.
we are the ones who mourn the dead.they are happy.
some say unless you accept christ here and now in this life you go to hell.
no way does the bible say that.if you deny christ when he calls you then you are gone.
but theres no such thing as an eternal pounishment.
the eternal damnerd are burnt up quickly and gone forever.
but if a person doesnt acept christ now in this life they may be deluded or confused.
god wont kill them off.remember this as you read.there are many many errors in churches and pastors.
thats why i do not go to any religiose groupings or fellowship with groups.
no physical church has it right.
they are all wrong.
its within to know the truth .ask god and he will give it